Abby's secret super power: the ability to stand exactly one inch further away from you at any given time. If you're trying to do her hair, she's one inch too far away. Help her with her dress? Ditto. No matter when you do, no matter how you're trying to help her, she's exactly one inch too far away.

Ethan's secret super power: the ability to always, no matter where you, the tv, or he are located, is always directly between you and the tv. If you move, you have about 5 seconds before he shifts to be in a better position to block whatever you're trying to watch. He makes a much better door than a window.