GTWD: a new trend? How did I miss it?

The problem, as such, is this: Stay At Home Moms and Go To Work Moms get sympathy because of their "plight" - not sure what the plight is, but that won't stop me. Stay At Home Dads are a new breed, so they get sympathy too - often for the wrong reasons, but it's there. But the Go To Work Dad is a little different.

Indeed, as a GTWD writing here, bitching if you will about my "plight," I feel like one of those white guys bitching about how the multicultural and feminist movements have rendered white men a minority that can't even have its own club without causing controversy. I feel sort of guilty, and kind of sheepish, like a bunch of people reading this are going to be like, oh, please, it must be SO HARD to have someone cook and clean for you, and make you breakfast, and watch your child all day, all so you can be a big shot with a career. (brianwho? again)

But it's not the career we're after. Like Brian, I have to work - otherwise, the family doesn't have food, clothes or a place to live. :jen: does a wonderful job with the kids, and she still works 32 or so hours a week at her job. But I can't help missing the time when I was laid off and converted to Stay at Home Dad mode, if only for a year, while Jen started working full time and picking up extra shifts until I managed to get another full-time job. It wasn't always fun, but I got to spend much more time with the kids - and it changed the relationship that I have with them in many ways. I think that I'm a lot closer with :abby: because of that - :emma: and :noah: were in school or pre-school or camp or whatever, and Abby had me all to herself. She has no problem running to me for help, even when Noah or Emma seem to prefer Jen - probably because she was their main nurturer. Ethan's going to be a little different, I think, because while I'm still working full-time, I'm not traveling around the state as much, so I'm home at a more consistent time, meaning that I get to spend more time with him.

And that's the point - spending time with the kids. I didn't get married and start having kids to spend more time at work, no matter what I might say. I have kids, and I want to spend time with them - they're all very interesting in different ways, and I hate that I have to spend so much time away from them just so I can provide for them. I know that I'm not the only one out there feeling this way.

Working Father Magazine? reporter Toddi Gutner wrote:
It reminds me of chat I had with Gloria Steinem a few years ago when I asked her how she felt about the state of women in the workplace. I was surprised at the time by her answer. She said that until professional men feel comfortable to express their need for a work/life balance, as women have begun to do, then they are unable to contribute more at home even if they might want to. Time for a working dad's magazine?

She - and Gloria Steinem - have a good point. Workplaces tend to bend over backwards to accommodate women so that they can still do family related things - take time off for sick kids, attend functions and whatnot. It's gotten better - at least from my point of view - for fathers, but it's still hard. I myself had to take Monday off because Jen worked the night before (for those new to the site, she works 11pm to 7am at a local hospital) and had just spent most of the weekend sleeping or working - with the exception of two birthday parties that we had to go to. She was quite tired by Monday morning. I didn't want to take the time off, and I felt bad about it, but I did it - and was not made to feel bad about it. I can't say that the same would have happened at some of my previous jobs, but there were "business" factors at play at some of the other places.

I think that there is a change coming - mostly on this blog. I've been pondering what direction to take over here, and it seems clear that I need to branch out a little bit more. This ties into another change I'm planning - making the parenting content available via another domain name that I own, and working some magic to make both sites all prettyful. We'll see how that second part works out - the first is much easier to implement.

Another link:
More GTWDs Please